Empowering young Australians to be a clear Christian voice
You are in a position of great influence in our nation. Your words are powerful and shape public opinion.
Thank you for your courage to tackle the controversial issue of same-sex marriage. You have made serious efforts to give voice to both sides of the debate, and I applaud you for that.
I was however grieved by the way you made a mockery of a valid point raised by Ros Phillips of FamilyVoice Australia: marriage has always been a joining of two opposites – a man and a woman.
I wonder how much hurt and offense was caused especially in the LGBT community as a result of your articles and the tone you adopted. It was not a constructive way to discuss marriage.
I understand that you are frustrated that so-called “marriage equality” has not come to Australia.
Thank you too for sharing your experiences growing up with same-sex attraction. It must have been very challenging to be bullied during your teenage years.
Like you, bisexual English professor Robert Oscar Lopez – no stranger to the LGBT community – did not have an easy childhood. He writes:
Quite simply, growing up with gay parents was very difficult, and not because of prejudice from neighbors. People in our community didn’t really know what was going on in the house. To most outside observers, I was a well-raised, high-achieving child, finishing high school with straight A’s.
Inside, however, I was confused. When your home life is so drastically different from everyone around you, in a fundamental way striking at basic physical relations, you grow up weird. I have no mental health disorders or biological conditions. I just grew up in a house so unusual that I was destined to exist as a social outcast.
Robert is not unconcerned about the challenges faced by the LGBT community. He says:
Gay men were not necessarily becoming happier simply because taboos crumbled and it was easier for them to have sex. Eating disorders, suicide, depression, and addiction were higher among gay and bisexual men than among other groups. In 2010, a report by the Center for Disease Control revealed that men who had sex with men were still contracting HIV at 44 times the rate of other men-despite decades of activism by a muscular and highly visible gay movement.
Robert believes redefining marriage to include same-sex couples would not solve these emergencies. His experiences growing up without a father convinced him that children need both a mum and a dad:
Having a mom and a dad is a precious value in its own right and not something that can be overridden, even if a gay couple has lots of money, can send a kid to the best schools, and raises the kid to be an Eagle Scout.
It’s disturbingly classist and elitist for gay men to think they can love their children unreservedly after treating their surrogate mother like an incubator, or for lesbians to think they can love their children unconditionally after treating their sperm-donor father like a tube of toothpaste.
Another homosexual man, Doug Mainwaring, opposes same-sex marriage based on reason and experience.
Doug first recognised his strong yearning for men at age eight, but later married a woman and adopted a son. Unfortunately, a few years later his marriage ended and he started dating men. He confesses:
At first, I felt liberated. I dated some great guys, and was in a couple of long-term relationships. Over several years, intellectual honesty led me to some unexpected conclusions: (1) Creating a family with another man is not completely equal to creating a family with a woman, and (2) denying children parents of both genders at home is an objective evil. Kids need and yearn for both.
“Genderless marriage is not marriage at all. It is something else entirely,” he says.
Even homosexual dad Frank Ligtvoet, writing in the New York Times, recognises the loss his daughter suffers in not having a mother:
Sometimes when my daughter, who is 7, is nicely cuddled up in her bed and I snuggle her, she calls me Mommy,” he writes. “My daughter says ‘Mommy’ in a funny way, in a high-pitched voice. Although I refer the honours immediately to her birth mom, I am flattered. But saddened as well, because she expresses herself in a voice that is not her own. It is her stuffed-animal voice. She expresses not only love; she also expresses alienation. She can role-play the mother-daughter relationship, but she cannot use her real voice, nor have the real thing.
These men, despite their own struggles, all recognise that men and women are inherently different. They complement each other and bring different contributions to a relationship.
Could it be that there is indeed something truly good and beautiful worth investigating about traditional marriage? Could it be that cultures throughout history have recognised marriage between a man and a woman because it is the prime institution of social justice that protects the rights and well-being of children?
Would you consider the possibility that, perhaps, it’s better to focus on picking up the pieces of a broken marriage culture, rather than weakening marriage by redefining it?
Thank you for reading this, and I hope we can continue to talk about marriage with sensitivity and respect.
Tasmania state officer for FamilyVoice Australia